


HOLD ON

by antisocial_knight



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boyfriends, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gay Character, Gay Panic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocial_knight/pseuds/antisocial_knight
Summary: Kartik Singh and Aman Tripathi, had been best friends since childhood. Let's see, how they end up falling in love with each other!
Relationships: Kartik Singh & Sunaina Tripathi, Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 35
Kudos: 75





	1. You make me baffled every moment

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is going to be my second multi-chapter fic and I just wanna say that I'm thankful to y'all for the constant support! I love you guys so much! I hope you like this! 
> 
> Read onnnn!

AMAN

The chocolate moulds looked quite good. I know I’m just a beginner but I was quite satisfied with my work. Although the kitchen is still a mess, and I know mom is going to beat the shit out of me for using all the sugar at home, still I wanted to make chocolates for my father, to impress him.

I have been getting low grades in maths since I got admitted to college. My professor called up my father yesterday, and told him to look into the matter. I had expected him to show up with a large stick in order to beat me, but I was quite surprised when he just silently walked into his own room and locked the door. 

I thought, maybe he was still angry at me for which Rajni, my elder sister suggested that I should make him his favorite chocolates.

Before putting the moulds in the freezer, I decided to show them to mom. I went to the balcony, and saw her sitting there, talking with Kartik.

Kartik is Neena aunty’s adopted son, whom I had known since childhood. Both Kartik, as well as Neena aunty are more like a family, than a friend to us. Kartik is one year older to me and we go to the same college. He’s the only best friend I had ever got since I was in school. Although we fight a lot, argue a lot, but at the end of the day, it’s him who can even sacrifice his life for me.

I walked up to my mother, and showed her the chocolate moulds.

“Great job Aman beta! I am sure your father would melt in a few seconds just after eating these.”

I made my way to the kitchen, Kartik was standing there. He motioned me to move closer to him. 

He placed his hand at the back of my head and whispered seductively,

“Come closer na! Please?”

I felt dizzy. My brain seemed to have stopped functioning. 

Did he really mean it?   
Or is it just some trick? 

My desire seemed to grow extensively as I moved closer to him. My eyes closed shut as I saw him shifting towards me. 

All of a sudden I heard a splash and utensils crashing down. I opened my eyes and ran after Kartik, trying to get hold of him, but as expected, his long legs were in favour of him and soon I lost sight of him.

My chocolate moulds were completely ruined by the water he had poured on them. I felt horrified. That was the only way I could impress my father and I lost my chance because of Kartik. 

Rajni found me crying sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I told him all about what happened. 

“Don’t worry bhai, I’ll make the chocolates for you. I’ll tell dad that you made them. You go and find Kartik.”

“But aren’t you having an exam tomorrow?”

“That won’t be a problem Aman! Also it’s English exam so chill!”

“I love you so much Rajni.”

She gave me a warm hug before leaving. I made my way out of the house and ran towards Kartik’s house.   
I rang the doorbell. 

Neena aunty opened the door.

“Is Kartik there?”

“No…I thought he was at your place?”

“Do you know what he did? He ruined my chocolate moulds. It took me so much of hard work to make them!”

“Oh God what shall I do with that boy! Calm down son. I’ll punish him hard when he returns home.”

I nodded.

“I made some laddoos for you. Come inside!”

My face lit up immediately. Neena aunty cooked delicious food. And I love sweets.

I sat at the table as she served me the food. After eating I thanked her and left the house as I was getting late. 

Just then I received a text from Kartik.

“PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MEET ME AT THE PARK.”

KARTIK

When I ran out of Aman’s house, I realized that I’ve really disappointed him a lot this time. 

But I can’t really help it! 

I love annoying him a lot. I love it when he screams at me, scrunches his nose and that red, hot face. 

When will you grow up Kartik Singh!

As I was walking along the streets, I saw a flower shop. It was probably new in that area.

“Bhaiya! Are you new here? I’m Kartik.”

“Yes I’m new here! Do you want something?”

“Yeah sure! Please show me something simple but beautiful!”

The shopkeeper showed me a bunch of yellow roses. 

I immediately remembered how beautiful Aman looked in yellow.

“Bhaiya, pack a bunch of these for me. Also put a chocolate bar in the bunch.”

The shopkeeper handed me the chocolate and the flowers. 

“Bought these for your girlfriend?”

I smirked.

“Something like that!”

I hurriedly made my way towards the park. 

Aman was already standing there, looking towards the boys playing in the swing. His hair was messy due to the blowing wind.

As I moved towards him he looked at me.

“Why did you want to meet me after everything you did today? Do you even know how much trouble you caused? Rajni had to make the chocolates even though she has an exam tomorrow!”

I looked down as my cheeks turned red. 

I silently handed him the flowers and the chocolate. He took it from my hand.

“I’m sorry Aman. Today, I really mean it. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Aman smiled.

“You told the same thing last time. Anyways what are these for?”

“Umm…to impress you?”

Aman laughed this time.

He plucked a flower from the bunch and placed it behind my ears. I looked down to hide the blush rising on my cheeks.

“You look pretty!”

He exclaimed as he placed his arm round my shoulder.


	2. Play a melancholy song?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But how can I apologize for who I am, Maa?”  
> -Kapoor and sons

KARTIK

It wasn't really windy like the previous day but still it wasn't humid. The weather was lowkey peaceful. I walked towards home from college, kicking the stones on the way. No, I wasn't reluctant to go back home. I was reluctant to face results of what I'm going to do in a few minutes. 

I had decided to come out to my mom today. She's the only family I have and I think she deserves the truth. She adopted me when I was 3 years old. She had none to support her that time and she really had a hard time, finding a job, taking my care and helping me with studies. 

Once, when I was 6 years old, she asked me if I wanted to know who my biological parents were and whether I would ever want to go back to them. I remember, I cried a lot and hugged her tight, telling her that I would never leave her alone. 

After all this, I felt that this is the right thing to do. To let her know the truth. As I know that she would understand. I know she would still love me, for who I am. 

Mom opened the door after I rang the bell two times. I didn't greet her today. I walked straight to my room. Mom followed me to my room and sat beside me. 

“Kartik... Look at me. What's wrong? ”

“I needed to talk to you. ”

“You know I'm here for you right? Talk to me. About anything! ”

“Mom.. I don't know how to say this. I'm gay. I like boys. I may not be like the others, but I won't apologize for who I am.”

I couldn't control my tears anymore. I held on to mom, crying helplessly as she tried to console me, planting kisses on my cheeks. 

“Stop crying Kartik. ”

I couldn't. 

“Will you stop crying, beta? At least let me say something! ”

I tried to rub of the tears from my cheeks. 

“Why would you cry, or feel bad for who you are? I am proud of you as always, but the fact that you were afraid about coming out to me, doesn't really make me proud Kartik! I have always been there for you. What made you think, that this part of you, would make me love you any less?”

She smiled at me. Like she always did whenever I felt down. I hugged her, tears still clinging to my eyes. 

“So you like Aman right? ”

Mom asked me, grinning widely. 

“Mom! No! ” 

We laughed together. This day would be one of my most memorable days. 

AMAN

It was already 4:30 p.m. , and Kartik still didn't come to pick me up for tuition. I was worried; I didn't want to be late for tuition again. 

Last week, as we made our way to tuition on Kartik's bike, the tire got punctured on the way, and we had to call a mechanic. They said, it would take time to repair, so we had to board a bus and go for tuitions. I hadn't talked to Kartik for one whole day after that incident; not that I blamed him for it, but as I love the puppy face he makes whenever I stop talking to him intentionally. He tries to impress me, buys me flowers and even wears the worn out hoodie I gifted him two years back, just to make me realize that he doesn't want to lose me. 

I made my way towards Kartik's house. The door was already open so I decided to go in. 

I saw Kartik, curled up in Neena aunty's arm. I saw tear tracks down Kartik's cheek. 

Why was he crying?! 

Neena aunty saw me all of a sudden and greeted me with a smile. I sat on the chair near Kartik. 

“What happened? Why is Kartik crying? ”

Hearing my voice, Kartik raised up his head. 

He immediately sat up straight, hurriedly brushing of the tears from his cheeks. 

“It's nothing, Aman. It's just that Kartik told me a truth today, something he has not been able to tell me for several years.”

I was shocked. There couldn't be anything I didn't know about Kartik. 

“Okay... May I know about it? Kartik, you're my best friend! How could you not tell me at least? ”

Kartik still didn't reply. He just stared blankly at the wall in front of him. 

“Oh Aman, don't worry! He's still your best friend. Kartik told me, that he's realized that he's gay. And I'm so proud of him, that he came out! I don't really know why was he so scared. I love him, and I'll always do. ”

Neena aunty patted Kartik on his shoulder and left the room. 

“Okay, Aman. Now tell me what you wanted me to do! ”

I smiled. The man was back at his normal self. 

“Did you forget about tuition? ”

“Actually, yes. Okay we'll leave right now.”

“Yeah.”

“Now leave the room, Aman? ”

“What? ”

“What?  
I just asked you to leave the room. ”

“Why? Won't we go for tuitions together? Wait. Aren't we friends anymore! ”

“Aman-  
Okay so you want to watch me while I change right? ”

“Oh god, no! ”

“Okay, then, will you leave, my highness? ”

I laughed, and left the room so that he could change. 

The Delhi traffic was worst that day. We sat on our bike waiting for the traffic to clear. 

“Kartik? ”

“Hmm?”

“Why didn't you tell me? ”

I heard him suck in a breath. It was probably not the right time to ask him. I drew my hands closer to him, and placed them round his waist. 

Kartik felt warm. 

A silence took over between us but it was comfortable. 

We didn't speak much on the rest of our way. 

I offered to drive on our way back home. 

I felt myself shudder as he placed his hands on my shoulder. 

After a while Kartik spoke. 

“I haven't got many friends like you. ”

“You've got me. Always and forever. ”

“Shayad. Because one day, you too would have new friends, probably fall in love, get married. You'll not remember Kartik Singh anymore. ”

“Kartik what are you even thinking about? Tujhe chor kar kahi nahi jaa raha main. Not even for jobs. I'm always gonna stay wherever you are. ”

“Sach mein?”

“Arey haa yaar! Shaadi bhi karlunga tujhse! ”

We laughed out together. I was quite happy for the fact that nothing has changed between us. 

After getting the bike parked, we were walking towards our houses, when I saw Keshav, my younger brother running towards us. 

“Bhaiya where were you? ”

“Kartik and I went for tuitions... Why? ”

“Papa had been looking for both of you. He has asked you and Kartik bhaiya to go and meet him. He has something important to say. ”

I looked at Kartik, who looked back at me, equally horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I tried to update as soon as possible. I had tuitions to study for. Also, SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER! Will update soon.   
> Kudos and comments keep me going. ❤


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OKAY I KNOW! It's really been a very long time since I updated and I'm genuinely sorry for that. I couldn't bring myself to write, I don't know why. Also, stuff happened. Anyways, read on! This chapter is completely unedited so please excuse the typos and spelling errors.

AMAN

Papa motioned us to get seated, as he lit up his cigarette. When I was around 6 years old, I remember he used to return home, drunk. He entered the house, and straightaway went to his room, not bothering to greet us, or have dinner.   
When I was 16, he had a massive heart attack, due to which he was advised strictly by the doctor, not to drink anymore. 

“You two are leaving for Delhi, the day after tomorrow. ”

For a moment I just went speechless. I was awestruck. Our families had always wanted us to stay at Allahabad and study. They never wanted us to leave our homes. 

“But why? ”

“See, I don't really have the time to explain so much. All I need to say is that you two are leaving for Delhi, the day after tomorrow. Chaman has a flat there, which is empty now. I had spoken to him, and both of you are going to stay there. I had done the arrangements for your new college too. Chaman would be accompanying both of you for a day, so that you won't have any trouble in finding the places. ”

Finally, Kartik spoke up. 

“But, uncle, mom leaves here alone. I can't leave her like this. What if something happens to her in my absence? ”

“Kartik, she'll be safe! We're here with her. Also, she already knows about this and has readily agreed to us.”

With these words, he left the room. 

We kept silent for several minutes, until Kartik said, “Why do you think they want us to leave? ”

“I don't really know. Let's ask mom.”

We went to mom, who was resting at the balcony. She smiled at us gently as we went to her. 

“Mom! Why are you all doing this to us? We don't want to leave! ”

“Yes aunty! We can't think of life without you all! ”

“Why are you two taking it like that? We want you two to leave for Delhi, because both of you need some space. We do love our sons, but we also want them to flourish in lives. We want you to study at better places, to fulfill your aspirations and dreams. ”

She embraced us in a warm hug. 

I whispered to Kartik, “We can do this! ”

He closed his eyes and nodded. 

KARTIK

I ran towards home, silently rubbing off the tears rolling down my cheeks. 

I almost leaped over mom as soon as she opened the door. She hugged me and patted my back as I cried. 

“You already knew this? ”

“Yes, Kartik.We want you to study in better conditions. Also, you know that you have to support our family in future. When you study alone, you become more responsible and disciplined. We want the best for you.”

“But how can I just leave you alone maa?”

“I'm not alone at all! Shankar and Sunaina are always there for me. I'll be completely fine Kartik. You don't have to worry about me. You just concentrate on your studies.”

I gave her a final hug and went to my room. 

It was ten past three at night. I lay on my bed, facing towards the patch on the blue wall. I haven't had a wink of sleep.  
Maybe Aman wasn't sleeping too?   
I picked up my phone and opened WhatsApp. He has changed his profile picture to the one I clicked today while he was sitting on my bike. 

“You awake? Call me if you are. ” I texted. 

I kept my phone aside probably expecting him to be asleep by then. My phone rang after about three minutes. 

“Why aren't you asleep yet? ”

“Don't know.. Just couldn't sleep. What about you? ”

“Nothing... Just excited about going to a new place I guess? ”

“Are you happy with it? ”

“To be honest, I am. You know I really wanna explore more places and also studying at a new place may do good to us you know. Although I don't wanna go away from my family and Neena aunty, but we'll get to meet them every month. ”

“You're right. I'll miss everyone here too. ”

“Let's go to sleep Kartik. Subah uth kar sab packing bhi toh karna hai! ”

“Yaah goodnight. ”

“Goodnight Kartik. ”

AMAN

I noticed, Kartik has been upset since last night. He came to my house to help me with getting all my clothes packed. I didn't take all my clothes with me, as I knew I needed to buy new ones once we get to Delhi. We went to Kartik's house, after that, to get his clothes packed.   
As usual, his cupboard was a mess and it took a lot more time to pack his clothes.   
My eyes fell upon a pink coloured diary. I recognized it immediately, from the colour. When we were children, sometimes, we used to write in the diary and talk to each other, instead of speaking. I was surprised that Kartik still kept it with him.   
I picked up the diary and found a pen attached to it.I opened a page and wrote,   
“Why are you so upset? ” and silently slid the diary towards Kartik.   
Kartik looked at me, and picked up the diary. He slightly tilted his head and wrote something. He closed the diary and kept it in front of me. I picked it up to read what he wrote.   
It read, ‘Nothing much it's just that I'll miss mom, as well as the others. On the other hand, I'm too excited to go to Delhi. We'll have a blast out there.’  
I looked at him and he was already smiling. I moved a tad bit closer to him and he engulfed me in a hug. 

It seemed as if the day passed in a jiffy. I went to sleep early and got up at 6 a.m. I got myself dressed and went to call Kartik. The whole family was waiting for us at the lawn. Kartik cried a lot as Neena aunty consoled him.   
Finally after biding farewell to the entire family, we got in the taxi which would take us to the airport.   
The ride to the airport was quiet; we didn't talk much. We reached the airport within half an hour. 

KARTIK

We waited at the airport. We still had twenty minutes to catch our flight. 

“Aloo patties khana hai? ”

“Aman is calling me for a date? ”

“Arey tujhe jo sochna hai tu sochle. Jaldi chal nahi toh aur bhi line lag jayegi dukan mein. ”

We ordered our food and waited while Aman took out his earphones and motioned me to share it with him. I closed my eyes in contentment as Ayushmann Khurrana's voice flooded through my ears. 

“Kajle toh zyada kaale  
Lagde ne eh ujaale  
Tere bin ovein mahiya! ”

Quite unconsciously, I kept my hands, close to Aman's. 

“Thandiyan hawawan aayiaan  
Neendran udaa le gayian  
Akh na eh sove mahiya. ”

I love this song. It makes me feel warm. It makes me feel so damn good! 

“Teri yaad vich jagdi rahi main taan  
Taareyan de saath ve  
Chan kitthan guzari oye...”

Aman kept his hands over mine. Puzzled, I looked at him. His eyes were still closed. His hand, over mine. That alone was such a serotonin booster for me. He opened his eyes, I shivered in anticipation of what's coming next. He was about to say something, and at the same moment, the waiter arrived with the food, interrupting us. 

We ate the food, and after paying our bill, stood at the station.

After a few minutes, the train arrived; we placed our luggage safely, and got ourselves seated. 

“Aman? ”

His face was buried into a book. 

“Yes? ”

“At least, stop reading now! And approximately how much time do we need to reach?”

“We'll reach by 7p.m. I guess. ”

“Okay, ek baat bolu? ”

“Haan bol. ”

“Tu cute lag raha hai aj bohot. ”

“Accha? Achanak itni tareef kyu? ”

“Kuch nahi, bas aise hi. Cute lag raha hai, toh bata dia!”  
“Accha. Flirt toh nahi kar raha hai na? ”

“Kyu? Koi problem hai kya? ”

“Matlab tu sachme flirt kar raha hai? ”

“Pagal hai kya? Waise bhi you're not my type. ”

“Accha?”

Saying this Aman clasped my hair in one hand and grabbed my elbow by the other. 

“Accha, Aman, chor, mai toh bas mazak kar raha tha yaar!”

Aman finally let go of me and we broke into laughter. 

...... 

It was about five minutes to seven and the train reached the station. Chaman chacha was waiting for us there. From there, we found a cab which would take us to our apartment. 

“Excited? ”

“Too much. ”

“Kartik, to be honest, I still don't believe we've come so far, away from home, that too alone. ”

“Nor do I! Huh. ”

The ride to the place where we're supposed to stay, took about fifteen minutes. 

The apartment was quite a big one, it was painted brown. Our flat was on the fourth floor. It's quite spacious, with two bedrooms, and a dining cum living room, with a tiny sofa and a dining table. The balcony was quite small, and it had a few plants to which Aman took a great interest. 

“Kartik, Aman, I'll be leaving now. Whenever you have a problem, don't hesitate to call me. I'm just a few minutes away from here. ”

We thanked him for all the help, and finally laid down our luggages in the living room. We decided to organize our belongings the next day, as we were too tired to do anything. We had already had paranthas at the station so we were quite full. 

“Kartik?”

“Haan bol. ”

“Tu abhi bhi akela sone se darta hai kya?”

“Abey yaar. Nahi! Chal jake soja chupchap! ”  
“Matlab tu darta hai! ”

“Nahi! Nahi darta main, jaake soja. We've to get up early tomorrow!”

Aman ruffled my hair a bit, before going back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter! Kudos and comments would keep me going :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite short; it's just a single diary entry by Aman. Hope you'd like it!

A recent entry in Aman's diary.

Dear Diary (still couldn't figure out a name for you, so yeah) 

We've finally settled comfortably in the new house. It's three days since I've arranged our cupboards and Kartik has already started misplacing his things. He's such a bad cook, he keeps on having takeouts and maggi. The sight was unbearable, I decided to cook for both of us. I don't know why, but I've always thought that things won't be the same between us after he came out. He'd probably start being awkward and try to maintain a distance from me, which I would never want to happen. I'm so grateful, things didn't turn out like that. We're still what we used to be ten years ago. 

We've started going to our new college, and as mom said, everything's really better here. But still, we miss our families a lot. Last day, I found Kartik sobbing silently on his bed at night. I asked him what was wrong, he said he missed Neena aunty. I tried to console him, as much as I could and then called her up. 

We have succeeded in making a few friends here as well, out of them, Devika is our best friend. Her boyfriend, Ravi is as cool as her, and the four of us are quite close. They've invited Kartik and me, for a party tomorrow at Ravi's house for which I'm quite nervous. I've tried giving various excuses (which included studying for exams, facetiming Goggle, cleaning my room, cleaning Kartik's room) for not joining them but they won't listen to me at all. 

Kartik has almost came out to the entire college by this time. At times, I just wonder what is this man actually made of. Like the way he thinks, the way he speaks, everything is just so different. We're almost of the same age, but he feels so much older and more mature than me. I'm a man, but deep down, I'm still a boy. Most of the time, I'm just trying to look for myself. At times I'm really jealous of Kartik. How does he know himself so perfectly? How does he seem to know every single thing about himself? 

The day he came out to our group of friends, another boy named Sunny came out as bisexual too. Kartik and Sunny seem to get along quite well. I've never talked to Sunny properly, Kartik would probably introduce him to me on the day of the party.

I'll probably write again tomorrow. Kartik has been crying since the last half an hour as he can't find his favorite jeans which he had planned to wear for the party. I gotta go now, or he would probably drown in his own tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)   
> Kudos and comments keep me going!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if I'm not here to stay,  
> I still want your heart.
> 
> -Takeaway (Chainsmokers)

Kartik adjusted his denim jacket, taking a final look at himself in the mirror. He wore it over a green t-shirt paired with black jeans. He has probably forgotten to bring his favourite jeans as even Aman couldn't find it in the entire house. 

“Aman! Are you ready? ”

Aman shouted from the other room, 

“Aa raha hu! ”

After about two minutes, he emerged from his room, dressed in black plants and a cream-coloured sweater.   
Aman stared at Kartik for a while. 

“Baal bikhre hue hai tera. ”

Aman said while trying to adjust Kartik's hair. He really needs to get a haircut. 

Kartik booked a cab from his phone and they waited outside. The cab arrived soon and Kartik hopped in after Aman. 

“Will you introduce me to Sunny today? ”

“Yeah of course. ”

“Waise kaisa hai woh? I mean is he a good person? ”

“He really has a heart made of gold. He has a charming personality and I love the way he talks. Aur bohot cute bhi toh hai waise! ” 

Aman chuckled. 

They reached Ravi's place within fifteen minutes.   
They were welcomed by Devika who was holding a drink in one hand and greeted them with a big smile. She was wearing a crimson coloured dress, with an elegant belt, paired with a black leather jacket. She, much like Kartik, seemed to attract people by the charm and spark in her behavior and personality. 

“Kartik! Aman! Come join us! Devi, bring them along with you! ”   
Ravi shouted at the top of his voice in order to make sure he was audible as the speakers were blaring loudly. 

Ravi was standing along with Sunny. 

“Aman, he is Sunny. Sunny, he is my best-friend since the day I was born, Aman. ”

Aman and Sunny shook hands. Sunny was a tall man, with curly, messy hair. He was dressed in a black and red striped full sleeved t-shirt and jeans. 

He smiled at Aman and said, “Nice to meet you, Aman! Kartik keeps on talking about you all the time. ”

Aman smiled and looked at Kartik who was busy admiring the lights. 

“Nice to meet you too Sunny! Looking forward to know you more! ”

After a few more drinks, they settled down to play a game of truth and dare. First, it was Devika's turn. 

She chose truth and she was asked, ‘Who do you think is looking the best today?’

“You already know my answer. It's me of course. ” she answered and they laughed.

Ravi chose dare and he was asked to hug the cutest person in the group. He immediately stood up and hugged Devika. 

“Are you doing this because we are dating? ” Devika asked immediately. 

“No, not just that! You actually do look cute. Don't you believe me love?” 

They broke into laughter. Soon it was Kartik's turn and obviously he chose dare. 

He was asked to kiss Sunny. 

“Accha thik hai, agar Sunny ko koi problem nahi hai, toh I'm ready. ”  
And then they kissed. It probably lasted for a few seconds. 

“You guys continue, I need to use the washroom. ”  
Aman said before rushing towards the bathroom.

Aman looked at himself in the mirror. He was breathing unusually fast and he felt dizzy. What happened to him all of a sudden? Seeing Kartik and Sunny kiss shouldn't make him feel this way. Then why was he feeling bad? Why was he shocked? 

Aman didn't have an answer to this. 

He was making his way out of the washroom when he felt someone stumble behind him. He turned back and saw Kartik and Sunny kissing and stumbling their way towards the restroom, without paying any heed to him. ‘Wonderful’ he thought and rushed out of Ravi's house.

Aman pulled out his phone to call a cab only to see that it had run out of battery. He could borrow Devika Or Ravi's phone but he didn't feel like going back. He made up his mind to walk back home. Tears stung at the corner of his eyes. 

He reached home safely after about an hour, after stopping at the way for some tea and a cigarette. ‘He'd need more of this right now’ he felt and bought some more packs of cigarettes. 

He made some black coffee for himself and sat on the bed in his room. He turned on the music and lit his cigarette. He held it between his teeth and closed his eyes. He took a puff and blew out the smoke. Slowly the entire room just smelt of his cigarette. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

Main tere ishq mein ghumrah hua,   
Main tere ishq mein ghumrah hua. 

Main woh chand jiska  
Tere bin na koi aasmaan  
Main woh chand jiska  
Tere bin na koi aasmaan. 

Meri duaon mein hai mannat teri  
Tujhko padha hai tu hai aayat meri  
Jannat tu hi hai tu hona na door,   
Azmat hai tujhse tu hi hai mera noor. 

Dil ki salakhein qaid rakhe hai,   
Jaise parinda koi, haan koi..

Ashqon mein hai yaadein teri  
Bheegi bheegi raate meri  
Ghum hai kahi raahein meri. 

Main tere ishq mein ghumrah hua,   
Main tere ishq mein ghumrah hua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY ONE YEAR OF SMZS TRAILER RELEASE PEEPS! One year since our lives took a turn and now we have the most amazing fandom ever. Love y'all ♥️.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the angst train starts from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the chapter- Ishq waala love, Tu mera nahi.

“You don't really smoke often.” stated Kartik.

“What do you think you're doing? Why did you leave the party all of a sudden? Do you even have any idea how worried I was? Besides, your phone was switched off as well.”

“I thought you won't notice.”

“What do you mean?”

“You seemed to be busy. With that guy.”

“You already know that his name is Sunny. Also I don't get you. CAN YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S UP WITH YOU!?”

“Nothing important. You don't really have to know.”

Aman left his bed and made his way towards the kitchen when he saw steaming bowls of Cheese Maggi and fruit salad laid on the table. 

Kartik followed Aman to the dining room too.

“You made all of this?”

“I don't know how to cook properly, so I had to take help from YouTube. I'm not sure how it tastes though.”

Aman smiled and held Kartik's hand.

“I'm sorry Kartik. I shouldn't have acted so rude.”

“It's okay Aman! Ab khaana thanda hone se pehle khaa le.”

They sat down to eat together, talking to each other, just like they usually do.

They got ready and left for college at 9 a.m. Some of the students were absent on that day, since they were still hungover from the previous day's party. Kartik went to his locker, which was just beside Sunny's.   
Just when Kartik smiled at Sunny, the rest of the students present there started whistling, clapping and shouting ‘here comes our newest couple!’   
Kartik felt all his blood rising to his cheeks while Sunny smirked at him. He ignored the crowd and started looking for Aman, since they usually sit together in the class, but he couldn't find him anywhere. 

He went to his class, and saw Aman sitting at the extreme corner of the last bench, with his bag at his side. He pretended as if he didn't notice Kartik and buried his face in his book.   
Before Kartik could go to Aman, Devika held his hand and pulled him down, making him sit beside her.

“Did you ask Aman why he left without informing us yesterday?”

“Yes I did, but he didn't answer me; he just said that he didn't let me know since he felt that I was too busy with Sunny. Speaking of that, why are the students pairing us as a couple? We didn't even hook up. It was just a kiss!”

“Ravi was telling me about this too! Many students are talking about you and Sunny being a couple after yesterday's kiss. Didn't Sunny tell them anything?”

“No he didn't. Rather he laughed it off. ”

“By the way, why do you think Aman is ignoring me? I even made him breakfast today, we were all good after that. All of a sudden this ‘Sunny and I are a couple’ thing happened and now he's not talking to me again.”

“I don't know? Do you think he's jealous or something?”

“Oh come on Devi. Why would he be jealous? He's not even gay. Speaking of that, I've always had a crush on him and loved him, knowing that he'll never love me that way. He isn't even bisexual. He can't be jealous of Sunny.”

Aman left the college right after the college hours instead of waiting for Kartik. He made his way to the Roadside Cafè. He first went there with Kartik, and he liked the setting very much. The wooden chairs were placed by square windows from where he could enjoy the view of the flower gardens.

He placed his bag at his side and sat on one of the chairs. Aman has been finding it quite hard to figure out what's wrong. Why does he find it hard to accept that Kartik can date someone as well. Several thoughts kept striking his mind.

He didn't know if he was gay. He never tried to figure out. He never got a chance to figure out who he was because he never felt this way for anyone. Until the previous day. He had kept on thinking about this since last night and the only conclusion he came to was:

He might be in love with Kartik.  
No, maybe he just liked Kartik.  
He didn't know about love, nor did he know how much one should like someone to be in love with them.

But he was very sure that he loved the idea of being with Kartik, like Devika was with Ravi. He would love to live with Kartik in his room and also, he would love to kiss Kartik. He hated the idea of Sunny and Kartik being together. No wonder why Aman didn't quite like him when they met.

But, maybe, Kartik was in love with Sunny. He wasn't really sure, but there were chances of it. Kartik knew that Sunny is bisexual, also Sunny is way much cooler than Aman. He knows how to dress better, how to talk cooler.

So, Aman may not have been sure about many things; but he really cherished his newfound discovery about himself.

He liked Kartik Singh.  
No, he was in ‘love’ with Kartik Singh damn it!

Surkh wala, sauz wala, Faiz wala love  
Hota hai jo love se jyada waise wala love   
Ishq wala love!

Hua jo dard bhi toh humko aaj kuch zyada hua,  
Ishq wala love!  
Ye kya hua hai kya khabar yehi pata hai zyada hua,  
Ishq wala love.   
Agar ye usko bhi hua hai phir bhi mujhko zyada hua,  
Ishq wala love.

Meri neend jaise pehli baar tooti hai,  
Aankhein mal ke dekhi hai maine subah,   
Hui dhoop zyada leke teri roshni din chadha,  
Ishq wala love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams starts in a few days. I'll try to update before that. This chapter was written and edited long before but I was kinda unsure of continuing this fic. But I took my time and finally posted it, and I guess I will continue. :)
> 
> Kudos and comments would keep me going.  
> Next update would be out in a few days.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY ONE YEAR OF SMZS Y'ALL! I'm so blessed to be a part of this amazing fandom. Thank you so much for all the love❤️.

“Sunny is coming over tomorrow. He'll take some notes from me and leave before evening.”

Kartik said while Aman was cooking and he was roaming around the kitchen.

“Why? Ask him to stay the night with you.”

Aman served the food and went to his room before Kartik could reply.

Aman has stopped going to college with Kartik. Nowadays he departs earlier saying that he needs to meet some teacher or friend.

Although Kartik can sense the increasing distance growing between them, still he feels like he has nothing to do about it, Aman barely speaks to him nowadays. He found out that Aman had made new friends who were known to Ravi. Meanwhile, Kartik and Sunny's friendship had grown quite strong too. They hang out often nowadays. Although none of them talks about the kiss anymore, some of the students still pair them as a couple.

After college, Kartik brought Sunny to their flat. He saw Aman's door locked from inside, which meant he was already home. He led Sunny to his own room.

“Make yourself comfortable okay?”

“Ah Kartik! Don't treat me like a guest now!”

Kartik took out the notes which he was supposed to give him and asked Sunny to start copying the important ones. He went to the kitchen to bring some food for him. 

He saw Aman's door slightly ajar, and he couldn't stop himself from taking a peek inside. He saw Aman, wearing his jeans and standing shirtless in front of the mirror.

Since childhood, Aman has always loved acting. He loved to dance as well, and Amitabh Bacchan was his idol. Sunaina aunty would often see him standing in front of the mirror all dressed up, and ranting some random dialogues from his favorite movies. He used to do those things even after growing up. One day, Kartik had found him enacting Sridevi, and Aman was so embarrassed that he started panicking.

“Main tumse pyaar karta hoon! Shayad jabse hum ek saath hai, tabse hi. Mujhe pata nahi. But after fighting countless battles with my mind I have come to this conclusion. But faayeda kya hua? Tu toh kisi aur se pyaar karta hai na? Thik hi hai by the way. You deserve someone as cool as you right? And what would I even want other than your happiness? After all, love is being happy for that person, even when they're not with you right? Main toh yahi hu tere liye. Humesha.” 

Kartik also noticed the tears running down his cheeks.

He went to his room before Aman could see him.

Sunny ate the chocolate cookies which Kartik brought for him.He left after collecting all the notes from Kartik.

Kartik went to Aman's room and found him fast asleep.

He dialled Devika's number on his phone.

“I've found out what's wrong with Aman. He's in love with someone who probably doesn't like him back. I heard him saying that to himself.”

“And you couldn't understand who it is? Is it someone from college?”

“I don't know Devi. I'll ask him sometime.”

“Okay. Let me know what happens.”

This time, Aman's door was locked from inside. After a few knocks, Aman opened the door.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“No, it's okay. I need to talk to you. Please don't turn me down this time. I beg you. ”

Aman nodded and motioned Kartik to sit on his bed.

“Do you love someone?”

Aman stopped in his tracks.

“I heard you talking about the person you love. I'm sorry. Your door wasn't closed properly and I peeped inside.”

Aman sucked in a breath which he didn't realize he was holding for this long.

“I don't know who you are in love with but I want you to know that you aren't alone, please don't be so depressed about it all the time. They'll surely love you back someday.”

“Someday.”

“Yes, Aman, they will. Can we please go back to being best friends like we were. I can't afford to lose you ever.”

Aman gave a sad smile and sat beside Kartik.

“I'm sorry for everything Kartik. I'm sorry for being so rude to you.”

“It's okay! Can we go out for dinner today?”

After a few minutes both of them were ready to go out. Kartik called a cab and they made their way to the closest restaurant they knew.

It was a Friday night, so it was a bit more crowded than usual. They ordered their favorite Chinese items. They also decided to get drunk since it was a holiday the next day. Aman, being a lightweight, got quite tipsy after a few drinks. After the dinner, Kartik paid the bill, and called a cab holding Aman to help him stand steady.

The cab arrived, and Aman buried his face into the crook of Kartik's neck. Kartik smiled at Aman's stupidity. Why did he have to drink knowing that he wasn't experienced? Kartik looked outside, feeling the cooling air blowing over his face. He closed his eyes and started singing along with the song playing on the radio.

“Tujh sang bair lagaya aisa  
Tujh sang bair lagaya aisa  
Raha na main phir apne jaisa  
Ho raha na main phir apne jaisa.”

He felt Aman move beside him, and turned towards him. Aman opened his eyes and smiled at Kartik.

“You're so beautiful.” Aman said groggily and again smashed his head over Kartik's shoulder.

Kartik was shocked at such a reaction from Aman. He thought Aman was probably still too drunk to realize what he's saying. 

He had a sudden urge to touch Aman. To feel him. He moved closer to him and placed a feather-light kiss on his forehead, careful not to wake him up. Kartik cursed himself immediately. He didn't know what took over him. He placed an arm around Aman's shoulder and rested his head on the window pane. 

“Mera naam ishq  
Tera naam ishq  
Mera naam ishq  
Tera naam ishq

Mera naam ishq  
Tera naam ishq  
Mera naam, tera naam  
Mera naam ishq!

Ye laal ishq, ye malaal ishq  
Ye aib ishq, ye bair ishq  
Ye laal ishq, ye malaal ishq  
Ye aib ishq, ye bair ishq.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams are starting from tomorrow and I don't know how to answer shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
> Haan main galat (Love Aaj Kal 2)


End file.
